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The Underwater Paddling We All Do

A couple of weeks ago, I was working in my “room office” when, in the middle of typing, a ladybug landed on the outside of my window. Even though I could only see her tiny legs and round little tummy, I knew immediately what she was. She was adorable—mesmerizing, really. I found myself completely captured by the simple joy of watching her as she wandered from one side of the glass to the other, pausing now and then before continuing her tiny journey.

As I watched her, it struck me how rarely we get to witness the behind‑the‑scenes moments of nature—or of people. We usually see only the outcomes: the achievements, the setbacks, the visible chapters of someone’s story. What we almost never see is the process. The effort. The unseen work.

Watching the ladybug made me think of swans—how serene and graceful they look gliding across a pond, while beneath the surface they are paddling furiously to stay in motion. And naturally, my thoughts drifted from swans to my loved ones.

We all live such wild, demanding lives. So often, it feels like we’re barely keeping our heads above water. We make plans, take steps forward, succeed a little, stumble a lot, learn, try again, and keep going. We push ourselves, sometimes against all odds.

It is an incredibly humbling privilege to witness the underwater paddling of others—the effort they invest in simply moving through life. We rarely get to see this, and I feel fortunate to have glimpsed the resilience and determination so many people carry quietly within them. When we share these behind‑the‑scenes moments with one another, we connect on a much deeper level. We learn not only from one another’s choices, struggles, and triumphs, but also from the act of sharing itself. It softens us. It makes us more empathetic, more attuned, more willing to reveal our own vulnerabilities. And it’s in those moments, when our true selves emerge, that our hearts truly meet.

I am so proud of the immense effort I see in the people around me. I wish everyone could witness what I’ve seen—because it has the power to change the way we view others and the situations they face. Since none of us walks around with a sticker on our forehead explaining what we’re going through, the kindest practice we can cultivate is to approach one another with a little more grace, kindness, and mercy. To remember that while we may admire someone’s beautiful, graceful “swimming,” we almost never see how hard they are paddling beneath the surface.

What helps you stay graceful on the surface when life feels chaotic underneath?

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